So, there's this vending machine --

Wait a minute! Before I go any farther (further?), I have got to stop and say: "We went to a great party on Sunday." Oh, yeah, our neighbors pulled out all the stops, and we walked away with some excellent loot. The Brunette hasn't stopped singing into the microphone radio since Monday morning. Our neighbors rock. (Insert whatever it is kids these days express admiration for others.)
So, at any rate, there's this vending machine at work. As the week goes on, it gets covered with these tiny little yellow sticky notes that say things like, "This machine owes me 25 cents -- Susan" and "This machine ate my dime -- Tom" This morning, I noticed a new note. It says, "This machine gave me an extra 40 cents -- Roger". Now, I thought that was a pretty impressive thing for Roger to do. Personally, I thought he should go to Susan and Tom and split his winnings, but at least he fessed up to it. I also thought it was time to add another note to the machine, so I did. It said:

"This machine said bad things about my mother."

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