The creator of Pearls Before Swine does:
I don’t know any of my neighbors’ names.
I think that’s excusable when you’ve only lived next to them for three months.
My problem is that I’ve lived next to them for eight years.
It doesn’t inconvenience me. I don’t talk to them. The only time it comes up is when Staci — who does talk to them — is telling me a story.
“Doug said they haven’t had any offers on their house.”
“Who’s Doug?” I ask.
“Doug. Our neighbor.”
“The fat guy whose wife doesn’t talk to him?”
“That’s Jim. Doug is across the street.”
“Oh, the guy with all the crap on his lawn.”
I like my nicknames better.