Police Blotter

I love the police blotter. I just forget to go look. Whenever I do, there's at least one that makes me smile. This is the one:

7:37 a.m. — A woman from the 400 block of Broad Street reported a dog had been barking all morning. Then she said it had been barking for three minutes, but she couldn't take it anymore. She said her husband, who is a nice guy, had written a letter, but the residents didn't care.

There's probably something sweet about her saying her husband is a nice guy, but what I hear in my head is sarcasm: That bozo is too nice for his own good. He wrote those losers a letter! Can you imagine? In this day and age, a letter! Hasn't he heard of Facebook? If I were a man, I'd go over and poke those folks, let me tell you. I should have run off with Ty the biker dude instead of marrying a nice accountant. I can't take this anymore.

Now, this is the woman she wishes she could emulate:

9:23 a.m. — A woman reported hunting on her property on Austin Ranch Road and finding people on her land, guarding a marijuana grow, who were armed. She reportedly took a gun away from someone.

From someone?

3 thoughtful messages from friendly readers:

Highway said...

Yeah, I love the blotter too! It was much more fun to read and write comments directly to them before that was curtailed.

Bowie Mike said...

Entertaining! Maybe the Police Blotter should become a regular feature for The Abbot?

Highway said...

Hmmm. I like that idea.