Snow (Orhan Pamuk) - Part 2

I took Leadbelly (my imaginary great uncle on my sister's side) over to Tofanelli's for a bite to eat. He seemed a little twitchy, sure, but he always seems a little odd. So I tried to ignore him.

We were fine until the waitress tried to tell us the specials.

"Our ravioli today is -- "

"Spoiler Alert!" Great Uncle Leadbelly shouted.

"Shush!" I said. The waitress stared at me. I forget that other people can't see my imaginary relatives. "I mean, sorry, I saw the specials written on the board, thanks."

The waitress did that thing where she draws out the long "a" in OK, then she went over to the bar to get me a soda. I watched her until she was out of earshot.

"What was that?" I hissed at Great Uncle Leadbelly.

"She was actually going to tell us!" He shook his head. "What happened to the thrill of discovery?"

I tried to ignore the Journey song that suddenly tried to become an earworm in my head. "What's up with you?"

"Everybody's spoiling things, I don't like it."

"Well, look, I never told you about Matthew. Why is everyone so upset about that and not about Sybil, anyway?"

"I don't know what you're prattling about. I'm talking about that book you made us read."

"Made you read? I don't make you read anything."

"You know you do. We all had to read that Snow book. It felt like snow, all quiet and muffled."

"I think that's why he called it that."

"Except that he spends the whole novel spoiling it. We know pretty early on that the guy's going to get shot, but not in Turkey. We're told that the women aren't going to die. I don't know why the author did this. It sucked all the suspense out of the book."

"I think it was definitely on purpose."

"Why?"

"Because one of the characters even does it. It's like Ferris Bueller's Day Off; the actor almost looks right at the camera and says, 'I'm going to die and here's how.' I think there might be a strand of pessimistic pre-destination going on, too, as if the ending was inevitable, so why hide it?"

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it," I said. Then, to get his goat, I tried: "You do know that the whole time Bruce Willis was a sled, right?"

Great Uncle Leadbelly stood and my heart jumped. Maybe for once I'd get to eat by myself like normal people.

"Where are you going, dear Great Uncle?"

"Don't worry. I'm just going to see a man about a dog. That means I'm going to the restroom. I'll be back."

"Spoilers," I grumbled at him as he walked off. "Spoilers."

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